Letters From Home

"My Dear Son, it is almost June,
I hope this letter catches up to you,
and finds you well.
Its been dry but they’re calling for rain,
And everything's the same
ol’ same in Johnsonville.
Your stubborn 'ol Daddy ain’t said too much,
But I’m sure you know he sends his love,
And she goes on,
In a letter from home.

I hold it up and show my buddies,
Like we ain’t scared
and our boots ain’t muddy,
and they all laugh,
Like there’s something funny
bout’ the way I talk,
When I say: "Mama sends her best y’all."
I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
An' it keeps me driving me on,
Waiting on letters from home.

My Dearest Love, its almost dawn.
I’ve been lying here all night long
wondering where you might be.
I saw your Mama and I showed her the ring.
Man on the television said something
so I couldn’t sleep.
But I’ll be all right, I’m just missing you.
An' this is me kissing you:
XX’s and OO’s,
In a letter from home.

I hold it up and show my buddies,
Like we ain’t scared
and our boots ain’t muddy,
and they all laugh,
'Cause she calls me "Honey",
but they take it hard,
'Cause I don’t read the good parts.
I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
An' it keeps me driving me on,
Waiting on letters from home.

Dear Son, I know I ain’t written,
But sittin' here tonight,
alone in the kitchen, it occurs to me,
I might not have said,
so I’ll say it now:
Son, you make me proud.

I hold it up and show my buddies,
Like we ain’t scared and our boots ain’t muddy,
but no one laughs,
'Cause there ain’t nothing funny
when a soldier cries.
An' I just wipe me eyes.
I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
An' it keeps me driving me on,
Waiting on letters from home."
Letters From Home
By: John Michael Montgomery

I must have heard this song nearly a million times. I've seen the video a few times too. Everytime I hear it, a part of my heart breaks in two. I can close my eyes and can remember what it was like to be in a combat zone, a million miles away from everything I know, with a tough, hard, dirty job to do.

I had no one at home to write me letters and let me know that what I was doing was the right thing to do...

I had no family at home praying for my safe return...

I had no wife or sweet heart waiting home for me...

And I can't help but remember how very alone I felt. It was like I could look out into the desert for a million miles...and I was lost. Like a sailor searching for a lighthouse. I felt that lost...

Maybe if I had someone waiting at home for me, I would not have been so sure that death would find me. Maybe if I had a reason to survive I would not have taken all the chances that I had. All I know is that for the first half of my deployment, I couldn't stop thinking of death. Death would find me or I would find it...I had no plans, intentions or desire to come home alive...what did I have to come home to?

And finally the last last of my deployment I did everything I could to stay alive. I didn't want to die...I wanted to live...

Now I'm back here and I realize that I'm just as alone as I was a year ago...Friends are great, they fill a void...but...but...

What I would give for one woman who would love me the way that I would love her. God, what I'd give for that feeling. A woman who's old fashioned like me, who's faithful and monogomous and believes in old fashioned love, just like me...

Everything is so modern no...everything is for sale, everything has a price and everything is open to compromise...But in this current circumstances something is lost in the prices and compromise. Something essenstial is lost...and can never be found until we find ourselves...

In the end...I can only say this: The only thing in this world that matters is love. The love that we give away. The love that we receive as a gift. When it is all said and done, nothing else matters...

What I would give for a woman's love...

What I would have given to get one love letter from home when I was in Hell...

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -- I Corinthians 13:13