THIS NEEDS TO GET OUT

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Is this the man we want as Commander in Chief??????

Peace

People talk about peace...about wanting peace...Well, what makes them think that there is a peace? What makes them think that pulling out of Iraq would bring peace? We may want peace, but what about the enemy?

1950-Present Day, Korea. The US maintains a war footing in Korea, since the end of hostilities of 1953. They are still technically at a state of war. US Forces Korea is a functional combat command which controls an army division.

1975, USS Mayaguez Incident. Elements of BLT 1/4 Marines, 2/4 and 1/9 recover the Mayaquez and it's crew from Cambodia.

1979, Iran. Iranian Fundamentalists ovetake the US Embassy in Tehran and the US attempts a rescue, codenamed Operation Eagle Claw/Evening Light.

1981, Central America. The US Army deploys advisors and mobile training teams to El Salvador and Honduras assisting them in defending against the Communist threat. This continues through 1992.

1981, Lybia. And so it begins with the Gulf of Sidra/Line of Death situation with Gay-daffi. This lasts until 1987. I participated in "Freedom of Navigation exercises" under 6th Fleet. It was fuuuuuuuuun.

1982, Lebanon. The US participates in UN operations in Beirut, contributing a battalion landing team of Marines. This mission ends after the Marine Barracks Bombing of 1993.

1983, Grenada. Operation Urgent Fury frees western medical students and deposes the Cuban backed "revolutionary" government. North Korean and East German "advisors" are found among the captured troops.

1985-1990, World. The US suffers many terrorist attacks, including Achille Lauro, TWA 847 (Stethem killing), Disco bombing in Germany, Flight 103 over Lockerbie. This war is fought in the shadows with military special operations and civilian intelligence forces.

1987-1990, Persian Gulf. The US becomes involved after the USS Stark is attacked, and several other provocations. This culminates in Operation Preying Mantis, which utilizes naval forces and Army Task Force 160 special operations helicopters. This also includes the escorting of reflagged tankers.

1989, Panama. Military overthrows and arrests Noriega during Operation Just Cause.

1990-1991, Iraq. Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm. Enough Said. Oh By the way. This 100 war should NOT be seen as the litmus test or benchmark for future wars.

1992-Present, Former Yugoslavia. The US becomes involved in Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia and Kosovo. Troops are still deployed.

1992-1994, Somalia. The US becomes involved in Somalia, kicks ass and them pulls our troops out (??????).

1994-1995, Haiti. The US becomes involved in Haiti providing security and stability.

1991-1992, Kurdistan. The US provides aid to the Kurds in Northern Iraq through US European Command, only to abandon them and watch them slaughtered when Saddam moves to reassert control.

1991-Present, Southwest Asia. The US maintains a combat presence in Southwest Asia under the auspices of Southern and Northern Watch, and near continual training and mobilization exercises under the names of: Iris Gold, Silent Assurance, Desert Scorpion, Vigilant Warrior, Vigilant Sentinel, Desert Fox, Desert Thunder, and Desert Strike.

Does anyone really believe that we are not at war? Does anyone really believe that the world is not at war????

What did the terrorists learn from 1992-2000 under a Democratic President????

Somalia 1993, shoot down a helicopter, kill a few Americans and they'll go home. WIN

Bosnia, 1993, shoot down a NATO transport aircraft and the humanitarian flights will stop. WIN.

WTC 1993, Africa Bombings, kill as many Americans as we want. They'll treat us like criminals when we're fighting a war. WIN.

Oh, Yeah. Kill as many Americans as we want and all they'll do is throw a few Tomahawk missiles at us. WIN.

IRAQ: Kill Americans and the civilians at home will lose the stomach for the fight. WIN.
Behead hostages and they'll scream and cry for PEACE!!! WIN.

So why are we surprised????????????????

One thing that the beheadings and terrorist attacks have taught me. We can never surrender. We can never give in. We cannot appease. We cannot use diplomacy. This is a fight until the bitter end.

He's One Sick Individual

This is the guy I want to vote for President. Yeah. Right. Sure....

The True War

Perhaps there are people out there who do not believe that we are in the fight of our lives. Perhaps there are some people who do not believe that the very survival of our way of life hangs in the balance.

FACT: Muslim Fundamentalists killed 241 Marines and Sailors in October 1983 in Beirut, Lebanon.

FACT: Muslim Fundamentalists kidnapped and killed countless numbers of westerners and Christians throughout the 1970s and 1990s.

FACT: Muslim Fundamentalists kidnapped and then killed Israeli Athletes in the 1972 Munich Olympic Games.

FACT: Muslim Fundamentalists hijacked an international flight and ruthlessly murdered a US Navy diver, Robert Stethem.

FACT: Muslim Fundamentalists hijacked the Achille Lauro and killed a wheelchair bound US citizen.

FACT: al-Qaida supported terrorists attacked the World Trade Centers in 1993.

FACT: al-Qaida provided weapons and training to Habr Gidr clanmembers in Somalia in 1993.

FACT: in 1996 al-Qaida operatives bombed the Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia killing American servicemen.

FACT: in 1998 al-Qaida bombed two US Embassies in Tanzania and Kenya.

FACT: in 2000 al-Qaida attacks the USS Cole in Yemen (an act of war mind you).

And how did the US respond...????? By throwing a few Tomahawk missiles into Afghanistan.

FACT: in 2001 3,000 Americans are killed in the worst terrorist act that this nation has ever known.

FACT: al-Qasqa, Hamas, and Hezbollah continue to wage a relentless war against Israel, indiscriminately killing soldiers and civillians alike.

Yet, this is a war that has been fought for the past thirty years. The world has been at war with terrorists since the early 1970s. This is a war that was largely ignored by the American public. While we were too busy day trading, watching the World Series, and sticking our heads in the sand, groups like Hezbollah, Black September, Baader-Meinhoff, Red Brigades, Action Directe, Abu-Nidal, Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, FARC, FLMN, Shining Path and others became the training ground for today's terrorists.

The terrorist business has truly turned into an entrepreneural business. Look at Colombia and other South American nations were the traditional liberation movements are now providing security and muscle for money to the Cartels. With the loss of COMBLOC support, they need to support themselves somehow. If they surrender and recognize that they have lost, then everything that they have done in the past...everything, is nothing but murder and mayhem. So they drive on...

And it has set the stage for what is happening in Iraq today. These Fals Jihadists who twist and misquote the Quran for their own ends kill innocent Iraqis and other Muslims to pursue their deadly ends. These are entrepeneural terrorists people. They are creating the False Jihad. The Quran states that if a foriegner comes into your tent in peace then you are share your salt. The Quran preaches that to kill a brother Muslim is hateful to God. The Quran teaches that Jews and Christians are not truly infidels for they are also children of the Book.

These False Jihadists do not care about a Free Iraq, nor do they care about the welfare of their own people. They wish for a destabilized Middle East and Arabia knowing that it will destabilize the world as well. Through the aiding and abetting of Iran, Syria and other Muslim fundamentalist nations they are taking their war to the world.

Iraq is simply the first step. The First Jihad was fought across Africa and into Europe, spreading Islam by the sword. It was finally stopped-after gaining a strong foothold on the Iberian Peninsula-in 1492 at the Battle of Granada.

The Second Jihad was with the Ottoman Empire. This was the greatest spread of Islam in the modern world. It was only stopped during WWI when the Ottomans had aligned themself with Austro-Hungary and Germany. This was also the beginning of a new, and continuing, resurgence of Wahhabi Fundamentalism.

The War started in the 1970s. Instead of facing the threat, supporting Israel and supporting the Shah (a western-leaning secular leader), the US allowed the resurgence of anti-Semitism, turned our backs, stuck our heads in the sand, and let the Shah fall. We all remember 1979 when the Fundamentalists took our Embassy and held our citizens hostages. Again an act of war, and how did President Carter want to respond???? he wanted to apologize!!!!

Those young Muslims who were being spoon fed western-hating fundamentalism at their mother's breast, are now the young men who are fighting us in the streets of Iraq. These are the men who hijacked airliners and turned them into missiles. These are the men who are training and recruiting terrorists in the Philipines, Singapore, Malaysia, Asia and the United States. These are the same terrorists whom we let go time and time again by our isolationist mentality.

We are in the fight of our lives.

NOW, some facts about us and the Global War on Terrorism.

FACT: We deposed the Taliban who condoned female circumcism, honor killing and castration.

FACT: We brought education to Afghani women for the first time in a generation.

FACT: We dropped food and other humanitarian assistance during the first day of combat, along with bombs.

FACT: We deposed Saddam who had a stated agenda to acquire, deploy and employ weapons of mass destruction.

FACT: we deposed Saddam who had used WMD on his neighbors and own people in the past.

FACT: We deposed Saddam who had murdered hundreds of thousands of his own people over the course of fifteen years.

FACT: We deposed Saddam who still repressed the Shi'a majority through brutality.

FACT: We deposed Saddam who used torture and violence to maintain control.

Get your heads out of the sand if you do not see that this is the fight of our lives. Get your head out of the sand if you believe that we can use diplomacy in this war. We've tried diplomacy for the past thirty years to no avail. War is a means of last resort, and we are at that last resort. We either meet the enemy there, or we prepare to meet him here in our own backyard.

An al-Qasqa martyr is a Hezbollah gunman.

An al-Qaida terrorist is a Hamas bomber.

There is no difference. They are all bent on destroying all things western and replacing it with a Fundamental Islamic government. Think about it. Listen to the terrorists and what they say. Look at what they do.

The lines are drawn, and there are only two sides. You are with us or you are against us.

We may not be at war with Islam but Islam is definitely at war with us.

 

Kerry, Former Crewmates Arrive in Boston

Retired Army Gen. John Shalikashvili, who served as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under President Clinton (news - web sites), was addressing delegates. He was to be introduced by retired Lt. Gen. Claudia Kennedy, the only woman ever to become a three-star general in the Army.

I would not be too enamored to be associated with General Shalikashvili. This is the same guy that was SACEUR when we first went into Bosnia. I don't have much respect for him. That he made four-star under Clinton really doesn't say much, in my opinion. If you ask me, I'd rather have Major General (2-stars) David Petraues who led the famed and illustrious 101st Airborne Division into Iraq rather than a General who stood by while the Serbs conducted ethnic cleansing and genocide in Bosnia and Croatia. Oh yes, and when a NATO airplane (Italian G-222) got shot down by hostile fire, instead of kicking ass, they stopped the humanitarian flights. So much for our humanitarian efforts.

After swapping war stories with the old gang Wednesday, Kerry boarded the Lulu E and made the brief trip across the harbor, once a political symbol of its own. In 1988, then-Vice President George H.W. Bush visited to criticize the pollution — and the leadership of his presidential rival, Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis.

Hmmmmmm. I wonder what the majority of his shipmates from Coastal Division 11 have to say about this. Go check out Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth to see what the rest (except for two) of his shipmates had to say about him. He was a substandard sailor who was made into a "war hero" by telling half-truths. Let me tell you, if I won three Purple Hearts by scratches, I wouldn't be bragging about it. But then again, the liberal democrat backing media has suppressed all vestiges of the truth. "We resent very deeply the false war crimes charges he made coming back from Vietnam in 1971 and repeated in the book "Tour of Duty." We think those cast an aspersion on all those living and dead, from our unit and other units in Vietnam. We think that he knew he was lying when he made the charges, and we think that they're unsupportable. We intend to bring the truth about that to the American people. We believe, based on our experience with him, that he is totally unfit to be the Commander-in-Chief." John O'Neill, Spokesman, Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth. Naval officers are supposed to lead, command, inspire and care about their men, not pursue their own political aspirations in a combat zone.

And I'm supposed to vote for this guy?

I'm supposed to vote for a guy who will take away from my hard earned money to give to someone sitting on his ass without lifting a finger? I'm supposed to vote for someone who will reward single parents who turn into baby factories? I'm supposed to vote for someone who will tear apart every last vestige of a family? I'm supposed to vote for someone who will try and make me ashamed for be a Christian? I'm supposed to vote for someone who will spit on the American fighting man? I'm supposed to vote for someone who will sacrifice our nation's security for the sake  of the "global village" (Yea, I want to be a part of Chirac's village. Sure.). I'm supposed to vote for someone who can't make a firm decision and then stand by it? I'm supposed to vote for someone who will try and shame us for being Americans?

The mentality of a slave is "we're all equal."

The mentality of the master is "we are not equal. Work harder and then we will be equal. I will help you become equal to me. But I will not lower myself to you."

I have the mentality of a master...not a slave.

 

Proverb of the Day

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart,
and good news gives health to the bones."
-Provers 15:30

Do I give a cheerful look? Do I try to bring joy to the heart? Who's heart am I trying to bring joy to?
Do I think of good news? Do I compliment all that I can? Do I say what needs to be said?

If I died tomorrow how would I be remembered?

Things I Want to Do (And the Things I Don't Want to Do)

I want to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven
I want my life to be a living sacrifice
I want to walk in faith
I want to make memories with my mate
I want to feel the sun shining down on me beneath the Tuscany sky
I want to watch an opera in the Venice Opera House
I want to float down the canals on a Gondola holding my wife
I want to walk through Central Park, NYC in the fall with the leaves under our feet
I want to stand on a Civil War battlefield and share the reverence with my wife
I want to look in her eyes for the next fifty years and know that "she's still the one"
I want to praise God in all that I do
I want to keep love before faith and faith before hope
I want to watch the sunset off the Monterrey coast with a lighthouse turning in the distance
I want to feel my baby kick for the first time in my wife's belly
I want to be remembered as a good father
I want to dance by the moonlight on the kitchen floor to the radio
I want to chase after God's heart

I don't want money to be more important than family
I don't want to say "I hate you"
I don't want to shut my wife out because of fear
I don't want to slam the door (close it lightly)
I don't want to shelter our children from the world
I don't want to remembered as a good worker
I don't want to lose faith
I don't want my wife to be more important than God
I don't want work to be more important than God
I don't want to be proud
I don't want to regret the things I should have said
I don't want to regret the dances I never danced
I don't want to regret the things I've never done

...More to follow...

Proverb of the Day

"The LORD does not let the righteous go hungry
     but he thwarts the craving of the wicked."
          --Proverbs 10:3

Thought for the Day, Romans 12:1-2

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of GOD, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to GOD, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of GOD." Romans 12:1-2 (NKJV)

As I'm sure you've noticed in my blog, there seems to be an underlying tone to my entries. They seem to center on questions that are essential to my journey as I walk through this life. Prayer, Worship, Choices, Living in general. Central to this is God's will for us. As a Christian this is a vital question to be answered. It is a question that every Christian must ask. Without this we have no raison-d'être. There is no direction in our lives, both spiritually and physically, without knowing this. And yet, the answer remains ever elusive.

I turn to Romans 12:1-2 (NKJV) to find the answer to my question "What is God's will for me?" How often have we prayed to God to know what His will for us is? We ask Him "Whom shall I marry?" "What job will I take?" "What church should I go to?" "How should I raise my children?" "Should I go on this mission?" And we seek God's will for us.

Yet, we miss the fact that God's will is already inside us. It is a room within the mansion of our hearts that is just waiting to be opened, begging to be discovered, desiring us to have the courage to unlock the door. We are beseeched to present our bodies to God as a living sacrifice. A living sacrifice. Think about that for a moment. We are beseeched, begged, asked urgently (American Heritage Dictionary) to present our bodies as a living Sacrifice to God. Not just our souls, not just our minds, not just our heart. Our bodies.

How do we do this? How do we present ourselves as living sacrifices? Sacrifice is not simply tithing on a weekly basis to the church. It is not about slipping an extra ten-dollar bill into the plate. Sacrifice is not about giving the weekly poker night for our kid's school play. Sacrifice is not about what we give up. By presenting our bodies as living sacrifices, we are transformed and our minds renewed into what is acceptable and perfect to God.

We all have choices everyday that we make. In every choice that we make, we have a chance to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. Think about it. Proverbs is a wealth of wisdom and knowledge. The Gospels offer a view of how Jesus lived. How we respond to an insult can be a chance to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. How we treat the man at work who never has any lunch and sits quietly alone in the cafeteria is a chance to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. How we interact with our children on a day to day basis is a chance to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. And yes, how we love and interact with loved ones is a chance to present our bodies as a living sacrifice.

Look back at Christian History and you will see many acts of faith. In Genesis 22 God calls upon Abraham to offer his son Isaac up as a burnt offering. Abraham's wife, Sarah was barren for many, many years, she even joked about having child, knowing that she could not. So, when God blessed them with Isaac you can imagine the joy and elation that they felt. And now God was commanding him to offer him up as a burnt offering. Did Abraham falter? Did he become angry? Did he refuse? Did he try to argue and "deal" with God? No. Abraham rose early the next morning and followed God's command without question.

In Isaiah 6:8, God asks "who shall go for us, who will I send?" Isaiah answers quickly "Here I am Lord, send me!" Isaiah doesn't even know what God wants him for. He has no idea where he will go, what will be waiting for him, or what lies ahead. But he goes anyway. He "presents himself as a living sacrifice." Talk about faith. Talk about worship. It is a living worship.

And by presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice we will become transformed by renewing our minds into what is good and acceptable and perfect to God. Think about it for a moment. Where is there one area in your life where you are failing. Where is one area in your life where you always stumble? Are you having trouble staying away from pornography? Are you verbally abusive? Are you cold and distant and unloving? Now I ask…as you pray for God's will and you pray for God to work in you, do you also present your body as a living sacrifice to Him?

On a very personal note, I have struggled nearly all of my life with pornography. I saw my first pornographic film when I was ten years old when my parents were out of town. It has been an Albatross around my neck ever since. Fearing Hell didn't pull me away from pornography. It pulled me away from God. I ran from God because of shame. I could not pray or ask forgiveness out of shame. It was a vicious circle.

It was not until that I continuously began offering my body up to the Lord that I was able to overcome this problem in my life. For me, it was a central threat to my spirituality, my faith and my redemption. It blocked me from God. It hindered my intimacy. But by presenting my body as a living sacrifice to God, I was able to begin putting on the "whole armor of God" (Ephesians 6:11 (NKJV)).

You see for me to be able to present myself up as a living sacrifice, I must have a close intimate relationship with God (with sexual immorality that intimacy with God is impossible). I must also quietly listen to Him. I must read His word. You know when you go "hmmmmmm, that's interesting" and you highlight a certain passage of the Bible? Guess what. That’s God speaking to you! Whether you know it or not that is God speaking to you.

When I walk everyday and listen quietly to what the Lord has to say to me. When I present my body to Him as a living sacrifice. When I look at each choice that I make and ask myself how I can use that as an opportunity to better serve and Praise Him. When I look to His word to see what road I should take. Then…then I will know God's will for me.

It is not earth shattering. It is not something found in a book,  a partner or mate, in a bottle or in a sermon.  When we fulfill God's will we only fulfill what was already written before we were born. We won't see it when it comes. We won't even know it's there until we have decided…But God will show us His will.

Then, all we have to do is step forth with faith and continue down the path he has provided for us.

Proverb of the Day

"Love and faithfulness keep a king safe;
through love his throen is made secure."
--Proverbs 20:28

To Be a Man

What does it take to be a man? This is a question that I have asked myself many times. I'm reading a book now called "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge right now which brings that question, once again, to the forefront of my mind. I am also reading Genesis in the Bible, as well as Proverbs which also gives some insight from what a man should be according to the natural order of things, as God intended them to be.

 

I look around at society and what do I see? Quite frankly...I see...wussies.

 

I see men who have been socially and psychologically castrated by an erronous popular opinion of what a "man should be". A man should always be kind. A man should always be gentle. A man should always be a nice guy.  A man should always be agreeable. A man should never rock the boat. And I look and see the type of "men" that this thinking and this societal view on manhood has created. I see men who break under the strain of combat. I see men who retreat into the shell of addiction and sexual affairs. I see men who jump from job to job to job looking for validation of who they are. I see men who no longer even know their wives who share their beds with them...I see robots...I see humans who merely survive until the day that they die.

 

From my point of view, I see alot of males...not many men.

 

So what does it take to be a man.

 

Looking back on my life I can recall three truly life-changing turning points that helped me define what is a man, and what it takes to be a man.

 

Turning point number 1 was my childhood. As some of you know, I was abused as a child. My earliest childhood memory is being beat with a broomstick. My next earliest childhood memory is of my sister being drowned in the bathttub by my mother for biting her. Needless to say my childhood is not something I look back on with altogether fondness or desires to reminisce.

 

This is a turning point, because....at the age of 10 I had a moment of clarity. As I was being beat by my father, I could remember coming to the stark realization that I have no control over what happens to me. The only thing I can control is how I respond to what happens to me. This...was a moment of clarity for me.

 

From that day one, I reconciled myself and challenged myself to never let them win. No matter what they said, I would see them wrong. No matter how much they beat me down, I would get back up. No matter what roadblocks that put on, I would jump over them. I never not die! I would not fail! I would not let them win! Not something a 10 year old normally decides while he feels his father's big metal belt buckle hitting in him in the small of the back.

 

Now, I could chosen to fall into self pity, and ask "why me?" and resign myself to a life of never measuring up, of never advancing and never being good enough. It is a road that many abused children take. It is the path that my sister took. I have not seen her in five years. I refuse to see her now. Last time I heard, she is somewhere in Atlanta and addicted to Heroine and marijuana.  I won't be a part of that.

 

But no. I chose a different road. I chose to pull away from my parents and shift my source of validation of guidance and of nurturing. I stopped looking to my father for approval. I stopped looking to my mother for support. I learned to be self sufficient. In essence, I became my own source of self esteen and validation on this road called life.

 

Now, this is not say that I hate my parents. Far from it. For all the bad things that I remember, my father is a good man. He taught me the value of honor, service and duty. He is an ex-Marine who served 35 years as a career firefighter. He had dedicated his life to the service of others. My father is the one who taught me honor, chivalry, duty, integrity and patriotism.

 

I have to laugh when I look back and remember an incident where I was caught by him picking on a class mate as we walked home. Now I was a scrawny little Asian boy who wore glasses. Finally having someone else to pick on was sweet revenge for all the years I had endured it. Well, my father took me inside and beat me senseless. At the end, he looked down at me and said "a gentleman does not attack those who are weaker than himself. A gentleman helps those who cannot help himself." So began a life of service and duty.

 

Another time, my sister had teased me relentlessly and finally, I lashed out and smacked her face. My father beat me senseless again. When he was done, he looked down at me and said "a gentleman never raises a hand to a woman. A woman is soft and weak. A man is strong. It is a man's duty to protect and defend her, not attack her."

 

So, these compilation of memories and experiences molded me into the man that I turned out to be. My father was not always bad. He has always been my hero. In a way, he will always be my hero. But this does not mean that I will follow in his footsteps or ever see his face again.

 

Turning Point number 2 when marrying Renee. I was seventeen and fresh out of Hospital Corpsman school and on my way to San Diego. In that moment, I realized that it was not only my life now. It was our life. I was responsible for her. She was mine. Renee gave up everything and literally laid her dreams, her life and her wellbeing in the palm of my hand. Heads of households and dominant men rarely ever understand the full measure of responsibility that they have. They rarely contemplate the trust that is placed in their hands.

 

She trusted my completely. And with that trust she silently told me that she would alwas be mine. I have something to live up to now. I had someone to take care of. She believed in me. That trust showed her faith in me. It has always been something that I was able to hold onto when I no longer was able to believe in myself.

 

Turning point number 3 was my first taste of combat. I call it a taste because for a man like me, the first day of war, is merely a taste of what is to come. War by its very nature is the ultimate test for the ultimate man. It is where the men are separated. It is where the lions are allowed to be lions. The tigers are allowed to be tigers. If you are a sheep get your ass back with the rear-echelon types and leave the fighting to men. It was fearful. It was exciting. It was exhilirating. It was horrific. It was awesome. It was all these things all at the same time.

 

And after that first day, I was left standing with a victorious feeling, knowing that I had survived. I had seen the elephant and smelled the smoke and cordite. I had made it through. I had been tested and I had been measured. I had passed the ultimate test. There was no doubt that I was a man. There was no doubt of who I was.

 

And now... look back and see that though important they were, those experiences and emotions were mere passing moments in the winds of time and change. My father and I no longer speak, or see each other. He is retired now, but he is a stranger to me. A heroic stranger, but a stranger all the same. Renee has since gone to God, taken at a young age. My days of combat are gone from me. I no longer carry the rifle or wear the uniform.

 

So what am I left with? I ask myself this and see, finally, that what it takes to be a man cannot be found in a bottle, in a box, in a woman, in a father, in a movie theater, in a board room, in a bank account, on a billboard, or even in a church.

 

No. What it takes to be a man is found within. What it takes for me to be a man is found right here inside my chest, in my heart and my soul. I have been tested, measured and I have not been found wanting. Though those experiences were but mere glances of a life that is shifted through time by the winds of change, I am still the man that I want to be.

 

I am strong. I can and will defend my family and my nation. I carry the wounds from having done so. I have my honor, without which I have nothing. I hold myself to a higher standard, and walk among other men of honor, to be measured against. I am humble. I am but a simple man with simple wants, needs and desires. I have nothing to give but what I have; nothing more and nothing less.

 

I am a man after God's own heart. It is only after hating, that one can truly love. I have hated. Now I can love. It is only after having no faith in the wilderness that one can sit among the faithful, knowing the worth of that faith. I have been lost, wandering the wilderness of life. Now I can sit comfortably among the faithful, and not look outward for something that I would never be able to find.

 

I am rough around the edges.

 

I have looked into one too many sunsets.

 

I have fought and will fight if provoked.

 

I will draw a line on the sand and not be moved.

 

I will not forsake my beliefs for popular opinions.

 

My wife will know that she is loved and cherished.

 

My love for her will be complete, not partial.

 

This is to me what makes a man. This is the type of man that I am...

 

And when I look into the mirror, I like what I see. Everything that I need is right inside me. It has always been there, waiting to be discovered...for that is what I am: a world waiting to be discovered.

Thought for the Day, Proverbs 20:6

"Many a man claims to have unfailing love,
but a faithful man who can find?"
Proverbs 20:6

You can see this everywhere one turns. Look at today society with tag-lines, pickup lines, quick gratification, and on-the-spot pleasure. Men will change their words and their actions for you, to fill your ears with what you want to hear. "I love you forever and ever." Yet how often do those loves last?" I'd walk through the wilderness for you. I'd climb the highest mountain for you." Yet, when push comes to shove, how many men will actually go to those lengths for you? We forget that there has already been a man who went into the wilderness for 40 days and was tempted by the devil. He was also taken to a high mountain and tempted by the devil. He was Jesus Christ. When we want to find a man who is that faithful, all we need to do is turn to the Word and find Him.

So what is a faithful man? In a world of impetuousness, a world of compromise, of morals/ethics guided by popular decision, faith and the Word's interpretation watered down and "progressive" is a faithful man still possible to find? First I should tell you what I think when I see the word faithful. I see it three ones. In one of those ways, I can sum it up in one word: enduring. Through the threat of persecution, during times of strife and tribulation, under pain of death and injury, financial loss and loss of worldly stature, the faithful will not stray, or bend. They will remain...faithful, enduring. They are faithful, because you know they will be there, and you look to them, and, "Oh My!!!" they are still there. They are faithful.

To me, faithful also means obedient. There are volumes of laws, volumes of teachings and volumes of commandments. For me, to be a good Christian, it comes down to four things: Loving the Lord, my God, with all my heart, my soul and my mind (Matthew 22:37); Love my neighbor as I loved myself (Matthew 22:39); Praising the Lord continuously (Hebrews 13:15); and to pray to fulfill God's will for us (I Corinthians 2:7). If I obey these commandments then I not only will I have faith in my heart, but I will be a witness for others through my words and my actions. To me, my obedience and my faith hinge on these four things. How can I have faith if I continue to pursue my own selfish ends? How can I love my brother as myself, without loving the Lord with everything I have? What good would my tithes be if I turn a blind eye to a man who yearns from the bread of life and I have not witnessed to him of the Lord (Matthew 4:4).

Faith to me is also a combination of works on behalf of my beliefs, and believing in something that I cannot prove, touch, taste, or feel. The Book of James tells us that faith with works is dead, being alone (James 2:17 (KJV)). The Book Ephesians tells us that it is grace through faith that saves us, called a gift from God (Ephesians 2:7-8 (KJV)).

Being a faithful man is not simply going to church and praying and reading the bible, or simply believing that I am saved by His grace. It is through my actions that I carry out in faith, through my faith in God's divinity, through faith in God's grace, through my works of faith that I can be called faithful. This is not simply a once a week, or once a day mission for me. By the way, to me any work for God that do is a mission, something that is more important than myself, whether it be an anonymous act of kindness, a medical mission, or praying as spiritual leader in a relationship; they are all missions.

I must give my praise to God. God wants our praise, our attention, our thanksgiving. He gives us gifts and blessings and he desires to be praised for them. The blessings and gifts, His will for us, all of it comes from Heaven. These things were written before we were even born. So if this is the case, I must pray for the wisdom to recognize His will for me. I must also listen quietly in order to listen for his answers. This is intimate. To me, this is the epitome of spiritual intimacy. To open my heart and my soul and my life to God, and to accept whatever He fills me with. To me, this is the most intimate act I can ever undertake.

My faith is shown through how I walk with God and with my fellow man. God wishes us to imitate him (Ephesians 5:1 (KJV)). By doing this, we must look at God's grandeur and splendor and not close our eyes to the wholeness of God. God is not only kind. He is also a warrior. He is also strong. Gog does not delight in evil. God hates wrongdoing and sin. God does not turn a blind eye to evil. We were created in His image. We are to imitate Him. He is strong. We should be strong. God is love...He is love...He does not just act in love, show love, or speak of love...He is love. Love is not always kind. Love sometimes can be tough. Love sometimes perseveres.

Yes...love. I Corinthians 13 speaks of love being the greatest of "faith, hope and love". Without love there cannot be any faith. Without love there cannot be hope. This is the basis for my Faith, my Christianity, my relationship with God and with others. Think about it. If we did not love God, what reason would be have to be faithful? Anything less than a faith of love would be hollow, something that God would see through.

Through an intimate relationship with God, He will show me His will for me. With faith I will follow it. Even if I do not see where the road leads me, it is faith that will guide me. That is what makes a faithful man. It is not belief alone that makes faith. It is not simply action that makes faith. They go hand in hand.

I do not know if I am a faithful man. The woman in my life will know if I am a man after God's own heart. On the day of judgment, God will tell me if I have been a faithful man. But I believe that I am. That is part of my faith. All I can do now is quietly listen to his words he speaks to my heart and step forth with faith, hope, love and trepidation on this perilous journey through life and know that He is faithful to me, as I am to Him.

Tears of the Sun

I watched this movie for the first time tonight. I've had it for a while but never watched it for personal reasons. For some reason, I am totally turned off to SEAL movies because they are mostly over-dramatizations, which poorly portray the warrior mystique that surrounds the Teams, and incorrectly shows them as animals, or inhuman robots. They normally just leave a bad taste in my mouth. But I was bored and had been through the rest of my collection a dozen times and didn't want to drive the 15 miles to the nearest town to rent a movie (the other edge of the "living-in-the-country" sword).

 

I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was a lot of technical accuracy to the movie. They (for the most part) wore the correct uniforms and used the correct weapons. They even had the boat crew the correct size (eight men). A full lieutenant commanding an eight-man squad was kind of unrealistic but it was not that big of a deal. They also used SH-60 Seahawk helos flying off of the helicopter, complete with dipping sonars and Magnetic Anomoly Detectors. This made me raise an eyebrow, especially seeing that each carrier has a pair of HH-60 Rescue Hawks which can support SPECWAR operations. Again, not that big of a deal. Nobody who has not sailed in navy gray would notice this technicality.

 

Operationally, the mission seemed like a normal operation other than war. That they inserted via HALO from a C-2 Grayhound made me raise an eyebrow, but again no big deal. There is something sexy about parachuting special ops dudes, but something even more mysterious and attractive about a free-fall jumper. It was creative license, but not one that was gross. On a real-world three-day op, everyone would have been wearing a 3-day assault pack, or other type of pack, but again, that was not tat big of a deal. It did make me question where they carried all their spare ammo and grenades and rations and things like that. Again, nothing that was overly erronous. Operators are used to traveling light, especially for this type of mission.

 

Now, the mission appears to be quite straight forward. Insert into a hostile territory and extract three personalities before they are killed by hostile insurgents. The personalities are an Italian-born yet American physician, a Catholic priest and two nuns. They are running a medical mission in Nigeria, in western Africa that is rife with revolution and Christian/Muslim ethnic cleansing that is more along tribal than religous lines. In the end only the Italian-born physician, Dr. Kendrick, leaves with the operators.

 

I especially liked Bruce Willis playing Lieutenant Waters as the commander. He was slightly aloof, always in control, and definitely the dominating personality. It was clear that his men respected him and would follow him. His part drove the movie. His interaction was played very well between him and the "personality" and with his men. He was no-nonsense yet respected their skills and truly built the team.

 

At first Dr. Kendrick does not want to leave her charges and refuses to go alone. As a way to complete the mission, LT Waters lies to Dr. Kendrick and tells her that they will also be able to extract the walking-wounded of the indigenous personnel and move them to Cameroon where there are refugee camps for them, just across the border line. To most, it might go over their heads, but this just goes into the fact that the mission is paramount. The operator always completes the mission, no matter what. This includes moral/ethical manipulation to make it so. On the outside it appears harmless.

 

A turning point in the movie is when they are flying back to the carrier, the mission virtually complete, and they overfly the mission that they had left not 48-hours before. Every man, woman and child had been killed in the mission. I don't know what was going on inside LT Water's mind, but obviously something changes in him. Perhaps he snaps. Perhaps he's had enough of sitting on the sidelines and not caring about anything else beside the mission. Perhaps, he has sensing deeper, a chemistry, between himself and Dr. Kendrick. Perhaps He simply is tired of not giving a shit.

 

But, no matter the reasons, Waters turns the helicopters around and lands back in the field where they had left the indigenous personnel to die on their own in the field, either from exposure or from roving bands of insurgents. He loads the helicopters up with the elderly, sick and young and then begins a cross-country trek to Cameroon, on a new mission. He states "same mission" but it is obvious that it is a new one. This is not a military mission though. This is a mission of the heart. A mission of conscience.

 

There is a distinctive shift in priorities, the mission, and the outlook of the operators. The refugees are no longer objects or "packages". They becme real human beings, and it is a common story line of the strong protector/provider but one that is still valid. The operators surround them like the cautious and dangerous mother lion who protects her pride. This also opens the operators up to a whole new world, from simply the mission, to something else, which some of them most likely had forgotten.

 

It is a good movie that speaks to conscience and ethics. They see that they have a higher mission as a member of humanity, than simply being operators. The operators know that they have special skills and strengths, and they decide to use them for good. They see their new mission, as one of humans, as men of honor.

 

Towards the end of the movie LT Waters and Zeke (I'm not sure if he is an officer/CWO or a chief petty officer but Zeke definitely is the 2nd in command) have a conversation. Zeke (who is black) talks about his ancestry and personal responsibility and says "For all the times that we were told to stand by and stand down. You're doing the right thing, ell-tee." Waters responds with "For our sins".

 

This speaks of a definitive amends that they are making. The history of the men is vague and not a part of the movie, but it would appear that they are all warriors. They fight because it is what they do. It is how they are trained. Perhaps they had turned their conscience off to get the job done. Perhaps they became jaded. Perhaps they became too closely aligned with the act of war, without looking beyond the actual actions that they take.

 

In escorting and protecting the refugees to the border, and to safety, the operators see this as their chance to redeem themselves. We're not quite sure in who's eyes that they are redeeming themselves in, or for what wrongs they are making amends for, but there are deep overtones of honor, integrity and rectitude (making the right decision).

 

What interested me most in the movie, was the loyalty. There was a chemistry among the men that seemed realistic, hard-edged and very real. LT Waters who is the aloof, in control, commander who takes responsibility. After an engagement, Waters takes personal responsibility for one of his men being killed by screaming "My fault! My Fault! My Fault!" His death drives Waters even harder to complete the mission, in order to make his mens' death to have not been in vain.

 

Zeke is the faithful 2nd in command, and a radioman. He offers words of caution and wisdom, tempering Waters command authority. He provides a not-contradictory, but a different side of the story. Doc is the corpsman, who is both a shooter and a medical corpsman. He performs his mission well and the protrayal is accurate. Flea and Silk are the sharpshooters. They are methodical and ever loyal. Red is a machine-gunner and the demolitions man. Slo is the techno-guy who tracks the badguys with a laptop computer. Lake is the hard-edged warrior scout. He does not agree with the mission and thinks they should get out, but he is loyal. That is interesting. Even when he thinks they are making a mistake, he remains loyal to his commanding officer, even giving his life for the mission that he did not believe in.

 

Captain Bill Rhodes is the SEAL commander aboard the carrier. He is upset and does not comprehend the dillemma that Waters is in, but still offers support. That is also interesting. I think perhaps Rhodes as been away from the front lines for too long, but also respects the command decisions of his people on the ground. That is common among the Teams and speaks well for both the "upper management" and the guys with their boots on the ground.

 

In the end, half of the team are killed getting the refugees to Cameroon. They get them there and this seems to be the climatic end of a personal moral journey for a group of warriors. At the end, Dr. Lena Kendricks kisses Waters on the forehead and I think speaks of an obvious intimacy between the two. There definitely is a raw chemistry between the two throughout the movie.

 

Before the credits roll, they post a quote by Edmund Burke: "The only thing required for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

 

That sums up the movie. It also sums up the journey that every man must make. Some push it down and never know what honor is. Some refuse to accept the challenge. Some fold under the challenge, but the underlying current of the movie is as old as time, but just as valid today as it was thousands of years ago: "there are bad people in this world. There are good people in this world. Someone needs to protect the good people from the bad. If not me who? If not now when? If I sit back I am just as guilty as the one murdering."

 

Two thumbs up for the movie.

 

 

Proverb of the Day

"Love and faithfulness keep a king safe;
Through love his throne is secure."
-Proverbs 20:28-

Check This Out

This made me laugh so hard!!!!

http://www.jibjab.com/

Why I'm Voting for Bush

1) He kicks butt
2) NO terror attacks since 9/11...wonder why? Think Tomahawk, Hornet, pissed off SEALs and Special Forces sergeants (PS, I can say this because my USAR team deployed to NYC and I was deployed to Afghanistan, so no crap on it)
3) He wants people to WORK for a living (what a concept!!!) and not sit on their butts at home waiting for handouts.
4) I believe prayer should be back in school. NO you don't have to pray, but don't take away MY right to pray.
5) The right to bear arms is essential for the defense of liberty.
6) When GW says NO he means NO, not "no, yes..well maybe...what was the question again?"
7) He was a fighter pilot (fighter pilots rock).
8) He gave a raise to the military.
9) He hired Rummy.
10) He didn't cave in to the UN.
11) I believe in equal access, not affirmative action.
12) I just don't like Kerry.
13) He made hard choices and did not back down.
14) He believes in religion and Christianity still.
15) He didn't throw any medals over any fence.
16) His photo wasn't hanging rspectfully on any walls in North Vietnam.
17) He isn't trying to play up the veteran card and call himself what he is not.
18) His tax breaks will help me, the tax payer, not the welfare-drawing, not working ones who sit at home and do nothing but pop more babies out.
19) He was a fighter pilot (fighter pilots rock!).
20) I don't want to be told that I have to give up my guns.
21) I don't want to have to hire people just because of the color of their skin.
22) We need to finish the job in Iraq.
23) We need to finish the job in Afghanistan.
24) Iran needs to know we won't take any crap.
25) We need eradicate the false-Jihadists.
26) We need to support Israel.
27) Syria needs to know we have their number.
28) North Korea needs to know that we can and will make Pyongyang into a parking lot.
29) KERRY IS A WUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY!!!!!!!!

Verse of the Day, Psalm 95:1

"O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation." Pslam 95:1

Let every word from my mouth praise You, Lord. Let every breath be in Your name. I am your humble servant, and it is with joy that I lay my life and my worries, and my efforts at Your feet. it is for Your glory, O Lord. Let me praise You today. Let me carry out Your will.

Thought for Today Romans 11:36

"For from Him, through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever, Amen!" Romans 11:36
 

God already knows what I need. He already knows the deepest desires of my heart. It has already been written in heaven. All prayer, all desires fulfilled by God have come from Heaven, through His power, and to glorify Him. I must look to God to see what is written in heaven for me. I must take quiet contemplation with God to know what He wills for me. I will pray for this. I will pray for this through His power, not my own. God's power. I will glorify God with the blessings and gifts He gives me. All things are for His glory.

 

That is how I will pray today. "For Him, through Him and to Him".

Verse of the Day, Romans 8:23-25, Part TWO

"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:23-25 (NIV)

 

Adoption. For some, the idea of adoption is as foriegn to them as another language. Unless one has a personal experience with adoption, either as one who has been adopted, one who has adopted, or perhaps-sorrowfully-one who has tried to adopt but was unsuccessful, it is difficult to understand the depth of the word and he emotions that surround it.

 

I am an adopted child. I was born out of wedlock in Korea to a Korean mother and an Irish/American Soldier. I spent the first eighteen months of my life in an orphanage in Seoul, Korea. At eighteen-months I was adopted and brought to the United States and raised by an Italian mother and German father. These are the people that I call mom and dad. These are the only people that I have ever known as mom and dad. When I was 3 years-old, I became an American citizen.

 

Many people ask me if I have ever wanted to know my real parents. People have asked if I was ever curious about my real parents. I would shrug-and still do-and answer "no. The only people that I care about as my parents, I already know". And this is essentially true. There has been no deep desire to know people who gave me up at birth. The circumstances of my blood parents' lives came to my attention when I was a young sailor and I was being investigated for a security clearance; the results of that background investigation and the information about my parents is not relevant here, but it is something that I know.

 

Now for the most part, I have had no burning desire to track down my parents. I have never had any visions of a tearfull reunion, or an on-going relationship with my birth parents. So that means that everything is hunky dorey and okey-dokey, right?  We all live happily eve after, right?

 

Wrong. There are some deep issues that lie within my adoption, that for the most part I have overcome. I admit, sometimes I still struggle with them, but for the most part, the past is put to rest in the past. Sometimes I deal with fears of abandonment. Sometimes there are self-esteem issues. I mean, if my parents gave me up, it's obvious that I wasn't good enough, right? If I was a good enough child, then I would still be with my birth parents, right? At times I have fear opening up to and trusting females, because it was my mother who gave me to the orphanage. Again, this goes back to feelings of abandonment and self-esteem.

 

I could write a whole book on these issues and how I have dealt with them but that is not the purpose of me writing here. I will say that it takes a lot of faith in the Lord for me to get through these issues, sometimes on a day to day basis. Faith, that He knows the way for me. Faith in the fact that I have a higher purpose, that I was brought to the United Stateso fulfill a calling that I cannot see yet, but know lies just ahead of me. Faith that though humans may abandon me, the Lord never will. For some loving, "the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment" (Matthew 223:37-38 (NIV)) , is a matter of convenience. For me it is a daily necessity, it is a matter of survival.

 

Once we are saved through Christ ("I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture." John 10:9 (NIV)) we are aopted into the family of God. We may have been born Jews, Gentiles, Canaanites, Muslims, or heathens. But once we are saved by His grave and washed in the Blood of the Lamb, we are his children. It is love that adopts us. It is love that cares for us. It is an act of love the opens His arms to us and brings us into the fold.  Through this, we see adoption as one of the ultimate acts of love, for we are to be like Him, imitators of Christ (Phillipians 3:9-11 (NIV)).

 

Does this mean that each and every one of usust adopt a child and raise them? No. That would not be realistic and it would not be what He intended. But in a metaphorical sense,  we can adopt someone. Ephesians 4 says that some were called to evangelism, others to apostleship, others to teaching, and still others to be teachers. We should always be vigilant for the person that we can adopt into Christ's love. Whatever our calling is, bringing others to the Lord's grace should always be a consideration. We are in constant witness. Sometimes we witness through our words. More often, we witness through our actions. It is our humility, our acts of love, selflessness and patience that we witness the most.

 

Who can we adopt? What about that person in the cubicle next to you at work, who always seems so lonely. Would God's love fill her up? Have you brought the word to her? If not, why not? If not you, then who? If not now, then when? The screaming and abuse that you hear down the hall in your apartment, have you reported it, or do you turn a blind ear to it saying that it is none of your business? That homeless man on the street corner that you step over everyday. Have you brought him  tract, that might bring him to the Lord? Have you given him food to l his stomach? Have you taken him to the volunteer shelter so he could sleep on a bed for one night?

 

These are all examples of how we can adopt someone. We should try to "be like Christ". The Word of God was not meant for those who were healthy. It was meant for the sick and infirm. That was why Jesus spent so much time tending to the sick, healing them...and yes, offering forgiveness. Who around us is sick in spirit? Who near us infirm in the heart? Who has a broken soul just yearning to be made whole? Who can I adopt? Who can I lead to the Lord?

 

As for me, adoption is an institution that is dear to my heart. It gave me a life, a better life than I might have had in an orphanage, growing up without a family in Korea. It is something I am pulled to fulfilling with my (future) wife. My heart s pulled to it.

 

I can only close my eyes and step forth, having faith in the Lord and His plan for me.

"The Warrior is a Child"--Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
 
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
 
Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
 
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
 
And they don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
 
Twila Paris
 
Today I will wear the whole armor of God. Today I will serve only Him. He will be my comfort, my shelter and my salvation. I will trust in Him, not myself. Today, this warrior will be a child. Today, I will lay down my worries and my pain at hHis feet. Today....I am His. I am in His grip. I am His.

Verse of the Day, Romans 8:23-25, Part ONE

"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for  our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:23-25

Wow. I read this passage, and all I can is "wow". It speaks to me on so many levels that is would be difficult to write all of my thoughts and emotions about it in one sitting. It would be near impossible. It talks about adoption. Yes, this verse speaks of our own adoption as sons in the Father, but I think on a deeper, metaphorical sense it speaks of Earthly adoption. It also talks of hope. But with that hope, something deeper, faith in that hope. And of course, waiting patiently, something as a Human, I have problems with from time to time, yet pray to God for His grace. Hope. I have been thinking on this alot lately, and that is where God is pulling my heart. Hope. One word; one syllable. Such a small word phonetically, yet so fulfilling, warming, and purposeful. What do we hope for? What have I hoped for?

As a child, I can remember the night before Christmas, hoping for all the presents that I wanted Santa to bring. I can remember the exuberance, the excitement, and the anticipation as I waited for Christmas Morning. I also remember the disappointment when a gift that I especially wanted was not under the tree. I had prayed to God. Shouldn't my prayers have been answered? Didn't the Bible say "Ask and thou shall receive" (Matthew 7:7-9 (NIV))? Why didn't I get what I wanted.

As a young Christian, I hoped to go to Heaven. I was filled with Grace and the spirit, and feared death and the eternal damnation that went with death before Grace. I hoped and I prayed that when my time came, that I would go to Heaven. My wife at the time was also Faithful, and we were equally yoked as defined in II Corinthians 6:14 (NIV). I hoped for a family and to live a long life with my wife. I was also serving in uniform so this hope had a stark reality with my mortality upon me; I knew that I was mortal. Over time, that hope turned to one that I hoped I would not die with my wife doubting my love for her.

Well. After three years of marriage, my wife, Renee, died. During her last days, Renee asked for Grace and for me know love. She also prayed for hope, not for herself, but for me. She prayed that I may come to know love again, and love fully. She prayed for my future. How humble and selfless she was, as she lay on her deathbed. And selfishly, I had prayed for one more day, one more moment with her. I prayed for a miracle. I know a country/western song named "One More day". It has a verse: "One more day; One more time; One more sunset; maybe I'd be satisfied; But then again; I know what it would do; Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you". Again I can remember the bitter disappointment.

After many years away from the Lord, I have come to hope for new things. My faith has matured. My beliefs have matured. It is through different eyes that remember the past, view the future, and live in the present. I won't say that I lost faith, for I don't think one can ever lose faith. I had drifted away though. I Corinthians 9:25 says that we get "a crown that will last forever".

And the things that I hope for have changed also. I no longer hope for selfish things. I no longer hope for things where I am the center. My purpose is not my own, but it is now the Lord's. In Ephesians 1:11 (NIV), Paul wrote: "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will". His will; not mine. This means having the faith in God that He knows my heart better than I know it myself.

This is hard. As a human, ego is central to my being. We all think that we know what is best for us. This is the battle that is central to my faith. To give up control to God. To say "God, You know what You want for me. You know Your plan  for me. I'm taking my hands off of the wheel. Come work in me, and guide me."

And with this metamorphosis from self to selfless, I have a change in what I hope for. Oh, sure, there things that I want. I want a wife and a family...according to His will. I want to have a meaningful purpose, work or missions...according to His will. I want to work in ministry and missions...according to His will. I want financial stability (relatively)...according to His will. But these are not the things I hope for. By hoping for selfish, worldly things, I take my eyes off of the Lord. I take my energy and thoughts off of His plan and purpose for me.

We shortchange the Lord, and do not allow Him to work in us by doing this. We see God in very small terms as  humans. We try to see Him as a Galilean. We try to wonder what color hair He has, what type of build He has, and what color eyes He has. We see Him in small terms. Yet, God is nothing but small. So it goes with our hopes and our desires. We get disappointed for not getting what we want, yet forget to notice the dream that God gives us. God tells us how to hope. God tells us what we should ask for. Its all in the book. Paul wrote in II Corinthians 417-18 (NIV): "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." We hould hope for the unseen. It is better than we could ever have dreamed, if only we allow God to work in us.

These days I hope and I pray for what the Lord wants for me. He knows me best. He created me. I have taken my eyes off of myself. I have taken my eyes off of myself and put them on my place in my (future) family. I have taken my eyes off of my desires and put them on how I may better serve my brothers. I have taken my eyes off of recognition and put them in my purpose, my mission.

When I was in the military, I participated in several team-building exercises. One of them was taking a parachute, packed by a team-mate and jumping with it without checking it. It built trust that went both ways. This was great trust, for our lives depended on it. Another was to lean backwards over a ledge with our eyes closed and to fall backwards, knowing that my team-mates would catch me. This took trust...and faith.

That is the type of faith that we need in God. Looking toward the unseen, and not the seen. Taking our hands off of the wheel and letting God drive for the rest of my life. Its no longer about me, it's about God. Then...and only then...can we get all that we have ever hoped for. Only then, can we ever allow God to truly work in us. It is only when we have true faith...going where God leads...down any road, any cost, that we can truly say that we will attain all that God has set aside for us. He wants so much for us. I don't want to get to Heaven, and have the Lord point to a room full of treasures that were meant for me, only to hear him say "I would have given you this, if only you had allowed Me to work in you". Can you imagine it? I can.

Prayer for the day: "Lord, open my eyes to the unseen, open my heart to all that You hope for me. Let my faith be such that I can trust in You with my all. Allow me to be guided by Your hand, wherever it may lead me. Lord, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will work in me today. Let me hope for what You wish for me. Let my hopes me of the greatness and purpose You have for me. Let Your humble servant bow to you and place my life in Your hands. I pray this in Your Son's name, Amen."

Verse

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
~Jeremiah 29:11

My Eyes Have Looked Into One Too Many Sunsets

My eyes have looked into one too many sunsets
            These eyes have seen too much death
My soul has been a witness to one too many heartbreaks
            My heart has endured too much betrayal
My weary bones have survived one to many wars
            This body has felt too much pain
The cowboy always searches for a last sunset
            The one where he can just fade away
The sailor waits to find one more lighthouse
            The one that will guide him back home
I am the last of the long lone of weary distant travelers
            My soul is ready for a much needed rest
So I will ride into my last sunset…
            …fade away into the light of the horizon
                        …this is where the cowboy rides away… 
           

I Walked a Mile With Sorrow

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chattered all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
 
I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!
 
-- Robert Browning

I Wake Up With the Sun Shining In

I wake up with the sun shining in through
The window; the golden rays kiss your shoulder.
I cannot help but smile at the baby gentle
Expression on your face as you sleep.
You radiant skin shines in the light of a new day
And your eyes are closed softly as you still dream.
I am filled with the love for a woman that is my own
A woman who waits for me in her dreams as I
Have waited for her. She is my dream, she is my destiny
And she is the woman with whom I wake up next to.
You softly breathe, gently tenderly as your chest
Rises and falls with your eyes fluttering as you sleep.
I watch you sleep for a moment and cannot help but wonder
If you are an angel sent down from heaven to rescue me.
And as I gaze upon your soft shining skin I am reminded
That I have a little piece of heaven laying next to me.
And I thank Him for His blessing and gift when I found you.
I wake up with the sun shining in through
The window; the golden rays kiss your shoulder.
I am reminded of how much I love you; and how lucky I am.

Sappy Thought

A man and a woman were dating. She asked him if he loved her more than life? He replied no, he didn't. She then asked him if he wanted to be with her forever. Again, he answered no. Tears in her eyes, she walked away, her heart breaking.

The man chased after her and grabbed her arm, turning her around to face him. This is what he said.

"I don't love you more than life, because you ARE my life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you, I NEED to spend the rest of my life with you."

Don't have any thoughts quite yet. Still mulling it over. Yes, I am a hopeful romantic. That's the kind of love I want someday.

Verse of the Day Jeremiah 32-17, July 11, 2004

"Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." -- Jeremiah 32:17

I read this verse and it just shows the power of the Lord that I have faith in. It is comforting, reaffirming, and it invigorating for me to read. I mean, just think about it, "Nothing is too hard for you." Talk about faith. Talk about the greatness of God.

Growing up in my Faith, first as a Catholic with the rigid decorum, tradition and ritual that is a part of the Catholic Church and then growing into non-denominational faith, I can see how my view of God has changed. I had the whole God thing figured out. He was tall, caucasian. Not fat, but not thin. He had brown hair. He had brown eyes. His hair was long and he had a beard. He seemed kindly. He was a man.

But somehow my thoughts have changed. We try to put a human face on God, when He is not human...He is...well, He is God. How can one explain that? How can one ever describe that awesomeness that is there? We try to put a humanness to God and we take away from His greatness. He is something more, something better...something indescribeable.

And then I look at the things I have prayed for in my life. "Please Lord, give me this." "Please Lord, give me that." "Please Lord let me have this." And all the while, God grants me my prayers, and yet I can picture him shaking his head thinking "I have so much better planned for you, if only you'd allow me to work in your life." I can actually picture that. "Nothing is too hard for you."...He parted the waters. He walked in water. He fed thousands with a dozen loaves of bread. And yet...we pray for simple humanly things.

How we shortchange the Lord. How we shortchange God. We say that we have faith in His greatness, in His spirit and in His power, yet we never let His power and greatness work in us. To me, that seems like a lack of faith. It shows a lack of insight. It shows a lack of something essential to my faith. And so I pray for what I want, on and on and on, while all the while God desires to give us so much more than that if only I would allow Him to.

Today, I pray for the Lord to work His miracles in me. I pray for the wisdom and the quietness of soul and spirit to allow His greatness to resound in me. I pray for Him to move in me. I pray for the strength in faith to know that He works wonders in me, if only I will allow Him to.

"Lord, what you've given me and promise to me is greater than I could ever imagine. You've shown me something something bigger and more beautiful that anything I could dream of. Thank You for your greatness Lord."

A Slow Walk Through Fields of Green

A slow walk through the fields of green; I can hear
The leave crunching rhythmically beneath my feet.
Ever slow steps I take, contemplative and thoughtful
I am mindful of the crisp air that brings a chill; but it
Is comforting to feel the coldness deep in my bones.
The autumn air is refreshing, filling my lungs as the
Sun beats down on my cheeks, warming me in the coolness.
I am brought back to a similar place in a different time
Where a warm hand was in mind in cool air; as the
Red sun faded into the distance, there was warmth.
I am reminded of a soft smile and shining blue eyes
As we walked a slow walkthrough similar fields of green.
She is gone now, but I have a memory; on days such as this
The memory of her gentle smile is enough to warm me.
The sound of leaves crunching and the breeze; it reminds
Me of a love that has not died; a love that cannot die.
The rolling fields of green are endless; they remind me
Of the timeless, ethereal love that once, for only a minute
We had shared on our own field of green, watching the
Red sun falling into the azure sky of cascading colors.
And for just a heartbeat in time, a glimpse as was our love
I am back on a slow walk through a field of green; and for
A glimpse in time I am in love, and loved once again.
I can hear the leaves crunching rhythmically beneath my feet…
…I am mindful of the crisp air that brings a chill…
…I am warmed by the memory of a love that never died.

Verse for the Day Ephesians 3:20-21

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." –Ephesians 3:20-21

Hmmmmmmm...I had to read this verse a few times in order to actually get a thought about it formed. Is it a prayer? Is it a praise? What is it's context? What is it in relation to? Well, this part of Ephesians is called "The Prayer for the Ephesians". The Church of Ephesus was one of the earliest Churches in Turkey, what would become the Eastern Empire of the Roman Empire. The early Church of Ephesus would later be combined with The Church of Alexandria. Then it was overtaken by the Islamic Arabs in the 7th and 8th Centuries. It currently is an iconic site to the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches….

But I digress…

We were talking of the verse, not of the history lesson. This obviously is a prayer, and for me it is a model for prayer. We, as humans, and me in particular, have a common tendency to pray for what we want and think we need, the right here and now, or the far off future. We forget that we are in God's hands and that God can see what we cannot imagine. He created what we cannot fathom. He understands what we cannot begin to comprehend. He is omniscient and omnipotent. He is…well, He's GOD. How else can I put it…for me, that is just such an awesome word. I say it and I am overcome with his power. I can't help it…God…think about it and all it entails…just the word entails something greater than myself, someone greater than myself…He's GOD.

We forget that God knows what He wants for us. When we need to learn our path or our purpose we look to within, and to ourselves to find it, without turning to God. But to me, that is wrong. God knows what He wants for us…who would know better? He created us, so He does know why he created us. It only makes sense to me to ask Him what he wants for us.

This is a prayer asking for God's blessing on the Church. But it is also a praise to God who "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us". God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. His power is working within us. Sounds like the Holy Spirit to me. How about you? Yes, the Power of the Spirit and the Blood. Immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…that makes me smile.

Me: God, I am tired of being alone. Please just bring a woman into my life to take away the solitude.

God: (while scratching his head) Is that all you want? If only you would allow Me to work in you the way I planned, I would give you much more than you ever imagined.

Me: OK, God. I asked for what I wanted, so I'm going to stop praying now.

I know it sounds silly, but I did that to make a point. We ask for the thoughts and dreams and desires of humans…yet we are short changing ourselves when that is all we ask for. Think about God. Do you think he wants for us in human desires? Or Godly desires, which would have to be grand, just because they're Godly? I think he dreams and desires in Godly desires. So, yes, we short change ourselves.

Someone once told me "God would give us more than we could ever dream about if only we allowed Him to". This same person told me "I asked for God to work in me and what He gave me was more than I could ever have imagined or dreamed of". Think about it…We pray for little things in God terms, and we don't even listen for the response. I could imagine God knocking on our imagination saying: "OK, James. You asked for this, you prayed. But you will not even listen for my response now".

This is a model of prayer because it does not try to limit God to human terms. It let's God think God-big thoughts, and give us God-big blessings and gifts. But as we pray we must also meditate and listen to him…watching the sunrise, praising Him. Driving to work, listening to praise music. Quiet time with God. Peaceful time with God. Listening to God's response to our desires. Perhaps we need to open our consciousness to what He wants for us. So not only do we have to listen, but we also have to watch. "God, I want to be happy with a man and married and children."…then the prayerful turns to daily life and forgets about it and doesn't notice the great, wonderful Godly man walking by her that is trying to smile at her. God is in heaven, shaking his head saying: "Oh, sure, I answer her prayer, but she doesn't even pay attention to when I answer it!"

I know I made humor in this…but I wanted to make a point. I wanted to make a few points.

1) don't limit God to human terms
2) Let God work in us according to His will
3) Let the Holy Spirit work in us
4) LISTEN (not just with your ears) to the answer
5) Pray for God's will NOT my will…

Beheading of Marine

Abductors Claim Marine Beheaded

Sun Jul 4, 1:00 AM ET Add Top Stories - washingtonpost.com to My Yahoo!

By Doug Struck, Washington Post Foreign Service

BAGHDAD, July 3 -- A militant group claimed Saturday that it had beheaded a U.S. Marine kidnapped last week in Iraq (news - web sites). The group said on a Web site that it would release a videotape showing the execution of Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun, but there was no confirmation that he had been killed.

Hassoun, a member of the 1st Marine Expeditionary Force, was last seen Sunday in a video aired by the Arab satellite television network al-Jazeera blindfolded and with a curved sword held over his neck. A group calling itself Islamic Response said it had captured Hassoun and would kill him unless all detainees held by the U.S. military in Iraq were freed. If carried out, it would be the third decapitation of a foreign hostage in Iraq in two months.

It's unconfirmed. But if they did, the gloves come off. I'm tired of these chicken sh*t fricking COWARDS hiding behind their masks and planting their bombs and taking their potshots with RPGs and calling it war. That's not a war. Those are acts of cowards. Obviously they've read Sun Tsu...but guess so what??? So have we.

If that Marine was beheaded, the fricking gloves come off. Beheading one, is like beheading all of them. Don't those towel head bastages realize the esprit de corps or the bond that is formed among Marines? I was a Corpsman assigned to 1/25 Marines in the Reserves and well, we were all out drinking one night at a bar. We got into a disagreement amongst ourselves and it got kind of heated. Pushes and shoves were thrown around. Well, someone walked up and joined into the fray...He wasn't a Marine. Two minutes later, the four of us (3 Marines, 1 Corpsman) were taking on the whole fucking bar. THAT is what being a Marine is about.

They want a war? We'll give them one. We did not want war with them. We wanted to get rid of Saddam and free their country. They brought war to our doorstep, so war it shall be. And may God have mercy on their souls...because the Marines will not.

Give no quarter,
Ask for no quarter.

Kill 'em all

Quote of the Day

"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities . . . because it is the quality which guarantees all others." ~~ Joseph Chamberlain

Without courage there can be no faith. Faith requires courage to act according to one's belief in times of strife. And what would faith be worth if it did not endure harship?

Without courage there can be no love. What true love does not require courage in the times of trouble? To love involved risk. One cannot overcome risk without courage. And One cannot love without courage.

One cannot have integrity without courage. Integrity is doing the right think even when it is difficult, dangerous or costly to do so. That takes courage to stand up against the march of times and tribulation.

One cannot have humility without courage. While others puff their chests and brag, a man of courage remains silent, confident in his abilities and his course of action. True courage is an act of humility, true humility is an act of courage.

I pray to the Lord to be courageous in all I do...

Independence Day

"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness...

...We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

Independence Day...Once again...Once again, a day for barbecues, picnics, vacations and a fun day with the family. It's a three-day weekend and a federal holiday. For many it's just another chance to get paid for a day off of work, and a chance to get caught up on yard work or time with the family...

For many others, over 200,000, they have no time with the family. They have a grave and solemn responsiblity that is weighty upon their shoulders. They are the young men and women who guard that wall that divides the United States from those people who would seek out our destruction. These are the brave souls who face what we fear everyday so that we do not have to...They might be having a barbecue and a chance to unwind a little bit. But they are also running continuous patrols. They are also dodging mortar fire. They are manning checkpoints and security posts. They have no day off. For them, they honor their forefathers in a much more tangible and real way. They live upon the creed and the testament that those men left behind over 200 years ago.

If anyone reads the Declaration of Independence, once can see that they put much dependence on divine providence, faith in God as well as God-given rights and liberties which no man can take away. When these rights are taken away by mortal men, then there is a right, a responsibility, a duty to resist and to declare one's independence to regain their freedoms.

Our fighting men and women are deployed world wide, still fighting for our freedom. They fight not against a nation state or a specific government. They fight against a fundamental ideology which would seek our enslavement or destruction. It is a war of ideals and ideology. This war for freedom is just as real and tangible as the fight that our forefathers took upon themselves so long ago, risking it all.

When we declare freedom and claim to have the honor that makes our freedom and liberties righteous, it also places a burden upon our shoulders. It is not only for us. We have a solemn duty of honor to assist and defend liberty and honor wherever it may be threatened. If we do not, then the freedom which we enjoy is nothing but a sham and hollow lie. And we are nothing more than charlatans and thieves.

So while you go out to the beach and barbecues today, remember those brave souls who stand their watch on the wall, allowing us to enjoy our freedom. They make the ultimate contribution, prepared to lay the ultimate sacrifice down on the altar of freedom for us. How can we question the righteousness of our course of action when we are on the same road that we were over 200 years ago?

Let freedom ring...

And may God watch over them.

Soldiers Charged in Drowning

It's about time that the DOD is beginning to clean up shop. Acts of brutality go back to the beginning of war, which goes before the beginning of man. Before man was, war waited for him. This fact does not excuse the use of brutality or inhumane treatment to civilians.

It seems there is an institutional mindset of cover your own ass in the military, which goes to degrade the effectiveness sometimes. The organization cannot better itself without knowing the mistakes that it has made. It cannot better train its people unless it knows where the deficiencies are. And with the CYA mentality that cannot happen. So the same ole things are done in the same ole things.

These actions were not in the heat of battle. The soldiers had not just been victorious over a determined and tenacious enemy and had succumbed to bloddlust. No. These were civilians who had defied a curfew. So for punishment they were thrown into a river. Not by common soldiers, but by the company commander. And the fucking first sergeant helped him do it. What madness is this???

The Army, like any well-oiled military machine depends on its noncommissioned officers, especially its senior and staff-grade noncommissioned officers to keep it's machinery running. But how can it do so when their fucking staff grade noncoms, the ones with the largest responsibility, and the greatest trust placed in them are doing stupid shit like this???? When the troops have the blood-lust coming over them, its up to the noncoms and the officers to maintain discipline!!!!

This is just insane. War is ugly. War is not pretty. War is destruction and well disciplined barbarism. But in this there was no discipline. It goes right up to the battalion commander on this one. My God, all of them should be court-martialed. Ultimately its the commander who is in command, who is responsible. That the battalion commander knew about it and then lied about it only makes it worse.

The military needs to start cleaning house. To allow these things to happen and to ward of embarrassment by hiding them only makes it worse. Discipline MUST be maintained. Order MUST be maintained. There are no two ways about it.

I don't know what else to say about this one, guys...except I hope that some good comes out of the bad.

Four Killed in Kansas Workplace Shooting

Top Stories - AP


Four Killed in Kansas Workplace Shooting

17 minutes ago Add Top Stories - AP to My Yahoo!


By BILL DRAPER, Associated Press Writer

KANSAS CITY, Kan. - A shooter at a meatpacking plant killed three people and wounded three others Friday afternoon before committing suicide, police said.


Deputy police chief Col. Sam Breshears corrected earlier reports from police that placed the number of dead as high as seven at the ConAgra Foods Inc. plant in Kansas City, Kan.


The three people wounded were being treated at The University of Kansas Hospital, spokesman Bob Hallinan said. Breshears said one was in critical condition.


A police dispatcher who did not give her name said a ConAgra employee walked into the cafeteria and began firing, then killed himself. Police said they received a call reporting the shooting at 5:12 p.m.


Several employees on shift when the shooting took place were not being allowed to immediately leave the plant, police said. While a few had made contact with loved ones via cell phone, many friends and family gathered outside the plant waiting for information.


"Everybody out here is trying to find out if their loved one is a victim or a survivor," said Robert Thompson, whose wife was inside when the shooting took place.

And people wonder why I am such an butthole at work when it comes to security. People wonder why I suspend people for letting other people in who do not have their ID badge. People wonder why I am so anal retentive when it comes to their safety. Some think I'm just an asshole. Others think I need to get laid.

I read the above story in the news and realize how serious my job is. I read the above story and I went back to the Plant and suspended two people for unauthorized entry into the plant. Yes...I may be an asshole...but next month one of the guys that can't get into the Plant because everyone is thinking force-protection/antiterrorism security may be the stupid butthole ex-husband who snuck in with a .45 and a pair of loaded magazines to kill her and whoever got in his way.

I may be an butthole. I am not here to make friends. I'm not here to be nice. I'm here to do a job. When I read the above news story, it makes my job all the more real...It might not be in uniform, but it's still important...it still makes a difference.

God rest their souls and may the shooter's soul burn in hell for eternity.